a
baby will
come
during the beautiful
evening in an
instant
joyful
kindness and
love will
move
nations to
outerspace. above the
perimeters of the
queens and her
roman empire.
surely we are
truly blessed
unconditionally.
vibrant are the
ways of the
xmen.
you are not my
zero.
Tuesday
catching up.
you know pregnancy isn't a disease.
it's certainly not a complication waiting to happen.
pregnancy should not be watched with a paranoid eye either.
ugh.
i'm just sick of people telling me i have to see a doctor. am i being stubborn?
am i just being childish? in my heart i don't feel like it's in my child's best
interest, or mine for that matter.
are there conditions then to the saying.
"do what you feel is right?" or "follow your heart."
my baby is healthy. i am healthy. i have no conditions.
no indications.
i'm in love with jordan and phoenix. and i know in my soul that giving birth alone is what i want and need.
i refuse to go to that institution. i refuse to put my baby and myself in their care.
i have faith in higher power. power far greater than me. but it is also me nonetheless.
let them call me irresponsible, wreckless. all the great thinkers and philosophers, activists.. they all were deemed crazy.
they're merely words created from their fear.
i will NOT take part in any of that. i'm sorry.
and contrary to what most americans believe, doctors are NOT gods.
it's certainly not a complication waiting to happen.
pregnancy should not be watched with a paranoid eye either.
ugh.
i'm just sick of people telling me i have to see a doctor. am i being stubborn?
am i just being childish? in my heart i don't feel like it's in my child's best
interest, or mine for that matter.
are there conditions then to the saying.
"do what you feel is right?" or "follow your heart."
my baby is healthy. i am healthy. i have no conditions.
no indications.
i'm in love with jordan and phoenix. and i know in my soul that giving birth alone is what i want and need.
i refuse to go to that institution. i refuse to put my baby and myself in their care.
i have faith in higher power. power far greater than me. but it is also me nonetheless.
let them call me irresponsible, wreckless. all the great thinkers and philosophers, activists.. they all were deemed crazy.
they're merely words created from their fear.
i will NOT take part in any of that. i'm sorry.
and contrary to what most americans believe, doctors are NOT gods.
just a little spill.
my heart is set on having my child in the comfort of my room, or a room i'm familiar with. only with people i love. my heart is set on letting the divine guide me, but in saying this i am separating myself from the divine. we are one. it's been difficult hearing other's opinions, their reprimands, their doubts, warnings, fears. i feel like through their words they're condemning me to inevitable demise. inevitable complications. well attempting to. i will not be easily convinced. those women, i'm sorry to say, know nothing about their true powers. their true divinity. we are all goddesses. unfortunately most have been blinded by a horrible curse! so all i can say is; majority does not rule in this case.
Monday
palabras.
why women give birth at hospitals is beyond me.
yes i know, "what if there are complications?" "Doctors are there in case something goes wrong."
well i'm here to say, that those complications you hear about, the deaths your hear about, were way more likely caused by medical error. (which is the number 8 reason of death in America.) NOT because the woman's body ran the risk of not birthing properly. wake up people. Women are DESIGNED to give birth. we all possess a higher consciousness within ourselves that will prevail so to speak. i'm not saying that there would be no fatalities if women were left alone to give birth, but i will say that we as humans all fall into helplessness in the face of fate. in other words, things happen to any degree, but we must move on.
Here are a couple reasons why i believe this institution should not assist women giving birth.
1) Doctors induce labor, quickening your body's natural process, to accommodate busy schedules. guess whose. yup the doctor's. because he's a very important business man who must attend to other clients to make more money.
they do this a few ways. the doctor may use his fingers to separate the membrane connecting the amniotic sac(which holds your baby) to your uterus wall which then makes the body release a hormone to start contractions.(this works on some women) he may perform an amniotomy by using a plastic hook to break the membrane.(which again works sometimes, and may cause a miscarriage.) he may administer an artificial drug that mimics a hormone in the body that causes the cervix to become soft thin and dilated. this fake hormone causes many risks for the baby and mother. more so for the baby as it abnormally raises the heart rate. Lastly, he may give you another artificial drug that mimics another hormone, the risks of this drug include MAKING CONTRACTIONS MORE PAINFUL(wonder why women scream bloody murder?) and causing fetal distress. Doctors use this very very often, and often don't tell their patients. I also need to mention that these man-made drugs contain more toxins than you can imagine.
One last thing, if the doctors perform/administer whatever is necessary to "jump start" labor and it does NOT work, as it does happen because the body is not ready to give birth, women run the risk of getting an infection if the sac is broken for too long before the baby is born. which results in a cesarean delivery! haha the risks of THAT are explained in number two.
2) if the labor is lasting too long in the doctor's eyes, or if you don't have the baby when you are properly scheduled he will cut you open to get the baby out his darn self! makes sense right?! HA! here are the risks to that one.
MOTHER'S RISKS-infection, increased blood loss, decreased bowel function, respiratory complications (you may get pneumonia), longer hospital stay, malreactions to anesthesia, and risk of other surgeries.
BABY'S RISKS- premature birth(it wasn't the baby's time to be born), breathing problems, lower score on the apgar test (Activity, Pulse, Grimace, Appearance, and Respiration) which is given to all newborns, and fetal injury.
dear god, why are doctor's complete assholes? ok pardon me, the whole establishment and its doctors is an asshole.
3) women are able to get an epidural. which is getting an anesthetic injected through a catheter into a space located in your spine.
Why? so women can't feel a damn thing. why it's extremely harmful to get one. labor slows down. lowers blood pressure. Malpositions the baby’s head to transverse or posterior. Decreases adrenaline release. Delays breastfeeding and shortens duration of breastfeeding. if given improperly (as it does happen because people make mistakes) the woman becomes paralyzed. what the fuck! women get this to be relieved from any discomfort?! which occurs because of the hospital itself. but still, horrible.
4) women have trouble giving birth because most of them did not exercise or eat well during their pregnancy. if you don't stay in shape, eat healthy, or get fresh air. you will most definitely have more trouble than a woman who readied her body.
What does all of this mean? Birth has become a business, a billion dollar business. With all of their gimmicks and schemes, and artificial means, of course it causes harm as they interfere with nature. Why do so many women feel like they have to give birth at a hospital? Because with business comes marketing, convincing people to buy into it. in reality, they cause the complications and deaths. With their intimidating environment (pregnant women aren't sick!), with their faux medicine, with their priority being money and time. I can't say that every single doctor is as pompous as that, but those doctors still perform these routine procedures that are NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE DONE ON PREGNANT WOMEN! i understand that in our society, women are expected to give birth at a hospital, or feel more secure for whatever reason. Don't buy in to it just yet, every woman like i said possesses a higher consciousness much more powerful than any machine or drug, and WILL work properly if not interfered with. we are much stronger than we think. much much stronger. if you must birth at a hospital, try with all your might to do so naturally despite what ANYONE says! listen to your instincts alone, they're right. squat instead of lying on your back, it puts stress on you and the baby, where as gravity will help the baby come right out.
ok so where is it MOST safe to give birth?
at a birthing center with a midwife. birthing centers have suites women stay in to have their baby.
i think it's so much better than giving birth at a hospital, but i think women would be much more comfortable in their own element and not being in the care of a woman she is not close with. say at home?
that is why i advocate unassisted birthing.
it's a mother either by herself or with family giving birth either in a tub or small pool at home, without the help of anyone.
where she relies solely on her intuition. it's not as crazy as you think. i swear. it's having complete faith in nature and in yourself. Some might argue that this would cause a frightened woman unable to conceive properly. but i believe willing mothers have it in them to have a successful birth without any intervention. i don't believe in any interference with the body's natural system if it is healthy! i don't even believe in immunizations! which is a different topic..
pregnancy is not supposed to be scary, it's not supposed to be a dangerous thing. on the contrary, it's the most beautiful event there is. why surround it with negative feelings, with fear when there is in fact nothing to be scared of.
I think there is more than enough evidence to suggest that people need to look up information on their own, and not believe everything they are told. See if what is trying to be sold to you IS in fact in your best interest. which requires action on your part, and not just accepting. unfortunately a lot of women are completely ignorant to these facts, so if you read this. pass it on. everyone deserves to know. please&thank you.
yes i know, "what if there are complications?" "Doctors are there in case something goes wrong."
well i'm here to say, that those complications you hear about, the deaths your hear about, were way more likely caused by medical error. (which is the number 8 reason of death in America.) NOT because the woman's body ran the risk of not birthing properly. wake up people. Women are DESIGNED to give birth. we all possess a higher consciousness within ourselves that will prevail so to speak. i'm not saying that there would be no fatalities if women were left alone to give birth, but i will say that we as humans all fall into helplessness in the face of fate. in other words, things happen to any degree, but we must move on.
Here are a couple reasons why i believe this institution should not assist women giving birth.
1) Doctors induce labor, quickening your body's natural process, to accommodate busy schedules. guess whose. yup the doctor's. because he's a very important business man who must attend to other clients to make more money.
they do this a few ways. the doctor may use his fingers to separate the membrane connecting the amniotic sac(which holds your baby) to your uterus wall which then makes the body release a hormone to start contractions.(this works on some women) he may perform an amniotomy by using a plastic hook to break the membrane.(which again works sometimes, and may cause a miscarriage.) he may administer an artificial drug that mimics a hormone in the body that causes the cervix to become soft thin and dilated. this fake hormone causes many risks for the baby and mother. more so for the baby as it abnormally raises the heart rate. Lastly, he may give you another artificial drug that mimics another hormone, the risks of this drug include MAKING CONTRACTIONS MORE PAINFUL(wonder why women scream bloody murder?) and causing fetal distress. Doctors use this very very often, and often don't tell their patients. I also need to mention that these man-made drugs contain more toxins than you can imagine.
One last thing, if the doctors perform/administer whatever is necessary to "jump start" labor and it does NOT work, as it does happen because the body is not ready to give birth, women run the risk of getting an infection if the sac is broken for too long before the baby is born. which results in a cesarean delivery! haha the risks of THAT are explained in number two.
2) if the labor is lasting too long in the doctor's eyes, or if you don't have the baby when you are properly scheduled he will cut you open to get the baby out his darn self! makes sense right?! HA! here are the risks to that one.
MOTHER'S RISKS-infection, increased blood loss, decreased bowel function, respiratory complications (you may get pneumonia), longer hospital stay, malreactions to anesthesia, and risk of other surgeries.
BABY'S RISKS- premature birth(it wasn't the baby's time to be born), breathing problems, lower score on the apgar test (Activity, Pulse, Grimace, Appearance, and Respiration) which is given to all newborns, and fetal injury.
dear god, why are doctor's complete assholes? ok pardon me, the whole establishment and its doctors is an asshole.
3) women are able to get an epidural. which is getting an anesthetic injected through a catheter into a space located in your spine.
Why? so women can't feel a damn thing. why it's extremely harmful to get one. labor slows down. lowers blood pressure. Malpositions the baby’s head to transverse or posterior. Decreases adrenaline release. Delays breastfeeding and shortens duration of breastfeeding. if given improperly (as it does happen because people make mistakes) the woman becomes paralyzed. what the fuck! women get this to be relieved from any discomfort?! which occurs because of the hospital itself. but still, horrible.
4) women have trouble giving birth because most of them did not exercise or eat well during their pregnancy. if you don't stay in shape, eat healthy, or get fresh air. you will most definitely have more trouble than a woman who readied her body.
What does all of this mean? Birth has become a business, a billion dollar business. With all of their gimmicks and schemes, and artificial means, of course it causes harm as they interfere with nature. Why do so many women feel like they have to give birth at a hospital? Because with business comes marketing, convincing people to buy into it. in reality, they cause the complications and deaths. With their intimidating environment (pregnant women aren't sick!), with their faux medicine, with their priority being money and time. I can't say that every single doctor is as pompous as that, but those doctors still perform these routine procedures that are NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE DONE ON PREGNANT WOMEN! i understand that in our society, women are expected to give birth at a hospital, or feel more secure for whatever reason. Don't buy in to it just yet, every woman like i said possesses a higher consciousness much more powerful than any machine or drug, and WILL work properly if not interfered with. we are much stronger than we think. much much stronger. if you must birth at a hospital, try with all your might to do so naturally despite what ANYONE says! listen to your instincts alone, they're right. squat instead of lying on your back, it puts stress on you and the baby, where as gravity will help the baby come right out.
ok so where is it MOST safe to give birth?
at a birthing center with a midwife. birthing centers have suites women stay in to have their baby.
i think it's so much better than giving birth at a hospital, but i think women would be much more comfortable in their own element and not being in the care of a woman she is not close with. say at home?
that is why i advocate unassisted birthing.
it's a mother either by herself or with family giving birth either in a tub or small pool at home, without the help of anyone.
where she relies solely on her intuition. it's not as crazy as you think. i swear. it's having complete faith in nature and in yourself. Some might argue that this would cause a frightened woman unable to conceive properly. but i believe willing mothers have it in them to have a successful birth without any intervention. i don't believe in any interference with the body's natural system if it is healthy! i don't even believe in immunizations! which is a different topic..
pregnancy is not supposed to be scary, it's not supposed to be a dangerous thing. on the contrary, it's the most beautiful event there is. why surround it with negative feelings, with fear when there is in fact nothing to be scared of.
I think there is more than enough evidence to suggest that people need to look up information on their own, and not believe everything they are told. See if what is trying to be sold to you IS in fact in your best interest. which requires action on your part, and not just accepting. unfortunately a lot of women are completely ignorant to these facts, so if you read this. pass it on. everyone deserves to know. please&thank you.
Thursday
24 hour period.
it's amazing how much can change over a matter of hours even minutes. it's amazing how differently one can view certain events over time. blah blah. we all have been "victims" of this. and i say the word victim only because one of the worst feelings in the world is realizing what you've stood on-ideas and such-for so long, has crumbled beneath you, leaving you to step on broken thoughts and decisions you never thought you'd ever have to make. this goes for pretty much anything, where you work, what kind of music you like, whom ever you're in love with, how you see the government, etc etc etc. one minor detail might mess up whatever you thought you were content with. but in my opinion the difference between a sane person and an insane person is that the sane person understands that the world around us changes constantly constantly constantly, and accepts it and molds into the same shapes. think of water and how it takes the shape of its container. tee hee. while an insane person does whatever he can to keep the ground constant, to keep whatever he has infront of him the same. that's crazy. it's never going to be the same. my opinion is changing even now as i write it down. and think about it further. but that's ok. blah blah blah
what is up with females of the world ! ?
what happened to class and respect. now i'm not in a million years suggesting that we all should hide away tucked in our homes and become prude, all i'm saying is what happened to acting like a lady? guys, who are forever going to hunt us, have adapted to this change and in return feel that treating us like dogs and cats is the only way to a girl's heart. i see so many young woman willingly put up with disrespect. i hate it! where are all the gentlemen in the world. ugh. i guess this is old-fashioned way of thinking. but we've swayed so far from this it's time we at least looked back on modesty and self respect! haha
it's a shame.
memoirs of a geisha. thank you for opening my eyes.
let's see let's see. what else?
no that's it.
goodbye.
what is up with females of the world ! ?
what happened to class and respect. now i'm not in a million years suggesting that we all should hide away tucked in our homes and become prude, all i'm saying is what happened to acting like a lady? guys, who are forever going to hunt us, have adapted to this change and in return feel that treating us like dogs and cats is the only way to a girl's heart. i see so many young woman willingly put up with disrespect. i hate it! where are all the gentlemen in the world. ugh. i guess this is old-fashioned way of thinking. but we've swayed so far from this it's time we at least looked back on modesty and self respect! haha
it's a shame.
memoirs of a geisha. thank you for opening my eyes.
let's see let's see. what else?
no that's it.
goodbye.
Sunday
today.
earlier i ran into a best friend from freshman year and was told that he was a writer, and was at the moment writing a book about his life.
cool!
so i told him i loved to write as well-he remembered that i wrote poetry-but that i was experiencing writer's block.
i told him i had so many thoughts and so many emotions i would love to use in poetry, to create using my own words, but i was having the worst time writing them down.
he told me to just let go of the block, and write.
and that's what i'm going to do.
!
cool!
so i told him i loved to write as well-he remembered that i wrote poetry-but that i was experiencing writer's block.
i told him i had so many thoughts and so many emotions i would love to use in poetry, to create using my own words, but i was having the worst time writing them down.
he told me to just let go of the block, and write.
and that's what i'm going to do.
!
Friday
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